On the Basis of Masturbation

I love masturbating. I can recall the first time ever flicking my little bean at seven years old to the sex scene of an old movie. Now that I’m older, I believe it’s the ultimate form of self-care. It’s the best feeling, besides transcendence through meditation, that anyone can have. I’m talking about it in the term of la petite mort, or the little death.

Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, “To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion.” – Mark Twain, On Masturbation

Achieving that peak moment when my spirit seems to briefly leave my body, time stands still for a few seconds only to start back again, returning my soul to me. My ears ring in a slightly high pitch and my vision is blurred. If I stand up too quickly I’d lose my balance. Those are the moments I’m talking about.

For some reason, we’re taught to believe masturbation is associated with shame and we go to great lengths to hide when, where and how we do it. Although porn and sex shops are much less taboo than they used to be, the action of getting off is still viewed as uncouth. Why is that? I believe it’s not only natural but healthy and even spiritual.

a Natural Flow

Sometimes, my hand finds its way to my underwear when I’m not even paying attention. I want to bet that I’m not the only person on earth who has this habitual reaction to natural urges. Web MD states that the medical community considers masturbation to be a natural and harmless expression of sexuality for both men and women.

It doesn’t mean we should give in to urges in public places, clearly not meant for intimacy; like the office or the train. It means acknowledging the fact that our bodies tell us what we want all the time, whether it’d be hunger for a snack in the afternoon, fatigue at the end of the day, or horniness at the thought of something sultry.

a Healthy Habit

It’s been proven that regular masturbation prevents chronic headaches, relieves body pain and even calms muscle spasms. It increases blood flow and leads to an overall happier lifestyle. I believe it helps me make clear-minded decisions in my daily life, knowing they’re not influenced by unfulfilled desires.

The experts at Planned Parenthood shared that masturbation can:

- Release sexual tension

- Reduce stress

- Help you sleep better

- Improve your self-esteem and body image

- Help treat sexual problems

- Relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension

- Strengthen muscle tone in your pelvic and anal areas

a Spiritual Experience

When I orgasm alone, I always feel a spiritual connection to my “higher self” as if a veil has lifted. The experience is almost meditative. Transformation and self-development teacher, Teal Swan, shares many of her own views about masturbation on her website.

She explains, “During orgasm, the awareness of the identity or ego is dissolved so at that moment, you are dis-identified and you can touch your infinite nature. This is why sex and orgasm have been used as a tool in spirituality to reach higher states of consciousness. It has been called the “mini-death’ because it erases a sense of separate self.”

Still not convinced? Watch this video where Swan goes into detail about her spiritual perspective on masturbating.


Achieving release from masturbation can be so freeing. I suppose I’m a perfect candidate for a masturbation ambassador, being in the adult entertainment industry. I’m definitely comfortable with the idea of self-pleasure, and I promote its responsible use. Everyone should have their own masturbation routine to have a spot-on experience, every time.

My Ivy Dildo

I’m actually more of a vibrator person. I just thought the headline looked super cute. My method is to play non-lyrical music, so my thoughts aren’t influenced by anything but my own imagination. I’ll make sure my vibrator is thoroughly cleaned. Using a sex-toy that hasn’t been cleaned from its previous use is SO BAD FOR YOU. Don’t do it! No matter how much of a hurry we might be in to get down to it, it’s never worth it. A bad build up of bacterial germs await us on the surface, and who wants that in their most sacred nether region? Not me.

My favorite lubrication to use is Aloe Cadabra lube. It’s all natural, you only need a tiny drop, and the lavender scented one smells like a beautiful dream. I make it a point to use lubrication every time because not only does it provide a better outcome, it prevents any skin irritation that may arise from the act. It’s like night and day, trust me.

Both hands are always busy. One down south and one in some other direction, almost like a flailing octopus. Whatever, I’m the only one around. We do what we like when we find out what it is we like the most. Being in tune with your own body’s needs is a powerful skill. Most times, for me, fondling of the breasts is all I really need during a session.

With my eyes alternating between being closed and open toward the ceiling, I eventually achieve an eruption that I’m sure pleases all the sex gods. I like to keep baby wipes on hand. The cooling sensation I get from cleansing with a fresh baby wipe afterward puts the cherry on the whole cake. It’s like a cool high five or pat on the back.

Hey, if there’s an itch that needs to be scratched, don’t wait for someone else to come up to you with a scratcher. Having sex with other people is great, but nothing quite compares to a session with yourself especially when you know everything the self wants. When you allow yourself to burst into flames, making the ugliest face and jerking your body around as if you’re being electrocuted, without any concern of judgment, you attain profound peace. Sometimes, I think of it as a sort of self-worship.

I’d love to hear some of your masturbation methods and stories of how it helps you in any way. Many of my readers and fans send lengthy confessions to me all the time, sharing details of their most intimate encounters. I’m grateful that people feel so open toward me and have a willingness to share with me without fear of judgment. It’s pretty special.

If you’re brave, take some time to share your story in the comment section. I read every single one. I hope everyone has a fantastic Valentine’s Day weekend. If you’re spending time alone, create a sacred space and love yourself, hard. I know I will be!

#advice #confession #diary #empowerment #health #intimacy #loveandrelationships #selfcare