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Ho Ho Holidays

It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m writing from my LA apartment. This past week, I’ve been visiting with family in Atlanta, Georgia for the Christmas holiday. It’s a crazy thing to visit family and play the “good girl” role for dinner parties and gatherings. I never quite know who in the family knows what my asshole looks like from watching me online, so I just assume everyone does.


Assuming everyone has seen a picture of me naked, conversations are steered the way I prefer. It’s always what the other person is up to, and not me. This way, I seem like more of a concerned family member. I seem more open, confident, and most of all, caring. I never really want to talk about myself too much.



I consider my life to be in transition; This means the details are best written for reference, and not shared right away. I also know it’s much easier for the topic of my online presence to be fully avoided. It’s very awkward to talk about, knowing half your uncles (and maybe all of your younger cousins with iPads) have seen a video of you with a penis in your mouth. So you wear your ugliest sweater, politely ask to help in the kitchen, and everyone remains cordial.


After all, the only thing that matters is that you’re home safe. The holidays should be remembered as a time to draw closer to the people who matter the most. The people who matter will love you no matter what.

©2019 Anya Ivy

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