Getting Off on the Go

My vibrator and I are best friends. The pink, seven speed, long-lasting, waterproof gadget, I can’t live without. When I traveled through Europe last month, I made sure to have at least one orgasm a day, no matter what. I could get off in the shower, in the laundry room, even during the five minutes it took for my travel partner to leave and come back with water bottles from the local market. What can I say? I’m in love with self-love and its benefits. For me to truly be a self-love advocate, I want to share how any woman can feel that sweet hum of serenity from anywhere.

So many of my girlfriends have expressed their desire to know more about what’s inside that neon lit store that stays open until 2 am with the tinted windows. A lot of them have no clue how many magical products are out there, ripe for the picking. I say to them all the time, “You can literally buy the feeling you are craving, in your favorite color, and give it a name.” I wish I had a magic wand to grant every girl her own customized instrument so she may harness the gift of clarity.

Every woman’s time schedule is different, but one thing always remains the same. That fluttering little heartbeat sitting between two soft buns in a warm oven, always commands attention. The hard challenge is tending to your wonder garden without the sun, bird songs and extra gardening equipment.

A woman usually has ritualistic, personalized steps for how she feels herself out. When she’s busy, traveling, or just plain heated, she has to have the right tools to repair a leaky faucet. There’s no time for candles and Sade music. She has to command the thing we all used effortlessly as young girls: her imagination. It’s so helpful to have a sexy scenario in mind before going into O-mode.

I like to think of something recent that gets me excited without hesitation; like a sexy barista I might have seen that morning. Maybe, I go back to the coffee shop on his lunch break and we sneak away to the dim-lit parking garage. Tucked away behind his car, he gently takes my head between his hands to melt his pillow-soft lips to mine; devouring me with tormenting passion.

Maybe he slowly gathers the folds of my skirt, exploring every inch of my trembling legs, only to find the tips of his fingers between my thighs. With each soft breath, careful not to echo through the lot, he grinds smoothly against me lowering himself to my knees. My vibrator plays the role of his eager tongue, fiercely begging me to erupt. And, boop! Ask, and thou shall receive.

With a good scenario in mind and a pocket-sized pleasure tool, I’m able to average about 45 seconds per sexy self-session. (Try saying that five times fast!) Do you think you have one minute to spare for your peace of mind? When I’ve played out sexy thoughts in my head (like the barista boy or a sexy UPS delivery guy) I find the clouds part after the rain has gone. I’m no longer thinking about wearing slutty clothes out to bar to attract some easy lay who I’ll regret talking to in the morning. I can focus on my art, read a good book, or plan a fun game night with my friends.

If you don’t own a toy you would kill for, I suggest going out to get one, tonight. Take the time to choose a pal that’s got all your needs built-in. Is it waterproof? Does it have ridges? Does it glow in the dark? Is it travel sized? Here’s a guide to choosing the right one for you. Whatever you can imagine you need to quickly have a crowd cheering, ear-ringing orgasm, it’s available to you in 2018. Go get it, girl!