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Dating As a Porn Star



Dating for me is not the easiest thing in the world right now as an adult film actress. Then again, when is it ever? Besides the stigmas that come along with my job (like being quick to get in bed with or being super hungry for sex at all hours) I usually deal with the basic navigations of dating too.


I think it’s important to heed who you allow into your life, especially when dating. This is why I date with two different categories in mind: Is this guy a beneficial one or a potential partner? I know I may upset some of the men I’ve dated in the past if they’re reading this and never considered this factor during the time we were together. Nonetheless, it’s a guideline I’ve lived and dated by to protect myself as a woman in my position.


Dating a porn star is a bit like winning the lottery, great in concept, but hard to handle” – Ryan Driller


Beneficial Guys:

A beneficial man would be one who greatly enhances my life in exchange for my companionship. He would either give me great sex, access to connections I need to network in a group or be a travel companion.


There are men I’ve dated purely for the sexual interactions we have that turn out to be the only real connection between us. There are men I’ve dated who loved to bring me along at networking events and introduce me to people I should know based on my goals. I enjoy those men because they want to see me thrive as a woman, in exchange for my company. There are men I’ve dated that I would only see when it’s time to jet out to some tropical island and relax for a week under the sun.


Although that sounds like a dream way to date someone, imagine the loneliness felt when the vacation is over and you’re back in your studio apartment. This is why I also date men who could be a potential partner for me to marry in the future. I don’t see these men very often, but when I do it’s absolutely magical.


Potential Partners:

“…it takes a monumental human to be in a relationship with a porn star. The levels of understanding, patience, energy, and the complete lack of jealousy you need to possess to be with these creatures is colossal.” – Samatha Bentley


These are men who are usually in the same age group as me, who are on similar levelsin life, who I could possibly bring home to mama. I’ll more than likely introduce myself to these men with my birth name. A potential partner for me is someone I envision to be my husband in the years to come. These men, I date with strategy and extreme care.


A lot of people may wonder what kind of man would accept a woman with the lifestyle I lead. I’m here to say that there aren’t many, but the ones who do (and are sincere in doing so) make life truly worth living and love worth fighting for.


There really is someone for everyone. The challenge is taking the steps to get aligned with the right people. I’ve been working on myself a lot lately since I’ve gotten more serious about dating. I’m trying to work inward, hoping to create outward results. I take more yoga classes during the week, study subjects I want to master through online courses and listen to inspiring audiobooks like Oprah’s What I Know For Sure. It can also be a challenge to meet new people as an introvert.


If I lock myself away too long, a stagnant circle of the same men will form in my life. I’d like to keep moving forward with each blessed day to find the piece that fits my puzzle. How frustrating is it to try and make pieces fit when they’re not mean to? So I force myself to be social in settings that interest me, and the journey continues toward my true self and the yin to that yang.


#advice #cinema #confession #experience #film #intimacy #learning #loveandrelationships #progress #reellife #reflection #selfcare #social

©2019 Anya Ivy

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